Pretend that the next 23 minutes might help quieten the screaming in your mind.
Welcome into the thing!
We've been expecting you.
We knew you would pretend to be interested.
This thing looks like a website, so pretend that's all it is. It's fun to pretend, so you're welcome to join us for as long as your attention span lasts...
Pretend that everythingís OK. Pretend the world isnít going mental. Pretend youíre the only sane one left. Pretend you give a shit. Or pretend you donít.
Pretend youíre an amoeba. Pretend youíre our imaginary friend.
Pretend with us that consciousness, creativity, love and laughter are powerful forces to be reckoned with. Or pretend itís all just an absurdist joke.
Pretend you know the punch line. Pretend to laugh, even if you donít.
Then pretend to browse around... pretend you're interested in our blog... pretend you want to be a poetic terrorist and download some words of weaponry... pretend it's only money and subscribe to our magazine... or pretend you've got no money and sign up for our free pretend email newsletter magatryptazine.
There's a lot you can pretend to do here. If you're not sure where to start, just email us at email@example.com and we'll pretend to help.